Assi Brand Instant Plum Tea – Purple Drank Mix
Dax: Assi Brand Instant plum tea is something else. First off, you get these sugar kibbles to put in your cup instead of actual herbal tea. After adding hot water the result is a thick, dark purple instant tea that smells like straight sucrose. This Korean teais the epitome of purple drank, to a T. It is beyond sweet, making the choice of Sunny D a very necessary one. I tried this plum tea cold and it tasted like a Hi-C juice box with a packet Splenda in it. You were warned.
Mike: How many teaspoons of sugar do you take in your tea? 1? 2? Maybe 3? Try 20. Saying Assi Brand Instant Plum tea is sweet is like saying Bill Gates is well-to-do; it’s an understatement. This is the 2nd Assi Brand tea I have tried and it is some funky stuff. First of all, it comes in pellets that dematerialize in the presence of hot water. I guess this is what they call instant tea. It tastes nothing like tea or even herbal tea. It’s more like diluted plum flavored honey-water. That being said, it’s delicious! This is a truly tasty beverage that will put a diabetic in a comma faster than corn syrup. Unfortunately, it is not really a tea and should be disqualified.
Beverage Rating: B+
Tea Rating: F (disqualification)